I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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