He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
