The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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