you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm both gender and math confused
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
