I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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