that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
