oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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