bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have post one night stand depression
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
