I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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