im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to wash the frat house off of me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
