I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
