dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
