i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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