Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
