dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
