So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
