but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
