I just cut my nipple shaving
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
