great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
