I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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