Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
