do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
