Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...

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(714): View more from California

She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(870): View more from Arkansas

He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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(207): View more from Maine

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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(817): View more from Texas

He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?

(785): View more from Kansas

Why is that your only point of reference?

(907): View more from Alaska

Just answer the question

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