At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
