Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this will be a night to untag.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis