i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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