the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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