So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
