i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize