ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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