i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
