I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We are all done wearing pants today
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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