i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize