After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
