I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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