pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
