and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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