you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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