I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
