your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
