Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
