I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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