You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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