I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
