guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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