yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
