You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
