he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
