Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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