He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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