man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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