apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
