i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
