He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
