I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
