Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
