I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
