Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
