Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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